![]() ![]() Welcome to the time when everything about your ex is all sunshine and daisies. ![]() In that case, “you may need to work on resolving this in order to have a successful, long-term relationship,” says Presnall. Since some people are inherently more ambivalent than others, reviewing any trends in your dating history may help you realize it’s not specific to your current S.O. It may also be beneficial to take stock of patterns in this relationship and previous ones to see if you exhibited signs of ambivalence in other romantic partnerships. Presnall suggests talking to friends and family to unpack the pros and cons of your relationship. “Oftentimes, their partner isn’t aware of their ambivalence, which can make this stage even more painful,” says Presnall. Presnall explains that this roller-coaster stage is marked by both good days (like after couple’s therapy or make-up sex) and bad days (like during a fight). “In the stage of ambivalence, a person has had both positive and negative phases in a relationship, but they are unsure which one is definitive,” says Ned Presnall, LCSW, clinical director of services at Plan Your Recovery in St. 20 Ways To Get Over A Breakup For GOOD.Should you break up? Should you stay together? Can you really love someone who did X? But what about their redeeming quality of Y? TBH, there’s no right way to process a split, but hopefully, understanding these standard stages can help you mentally prepare-and get over your ex for good. At times, you may even find yourself revisiting a stage you thought you were for sure past when you least expect it, says Cantor. You may bounce between stages, stay in one for a particularly long time and others more briefly, or go through them in a completely different order than below. Worth noting: The stages of a breakup are not linear and may look different for everyone. ![]() Carla Manly, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend. Megan Harrison, LMFT, is a sex therapist and founder of Couples Candy. Nicole Arzt, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Soul of Therapy.īeverley Andre, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of BeHeart Counseling Services. Ned Presnall, LCSW, is a therapist and clinical director of services at Plan Your Recovery in St. But luckily, the stages of a breakup are rather predictable, and expert-approved strategies can help you cope while navigating each stage.īrooke Schwartz, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and clinical social worker based in Los Angeles, California.Ĭaitlin Cantor, LCSW, is an individual, couples, and AASECT-certified sex therapist with practices in Philadelphia, Pennslyvania and New Jersey. As a result, breakups can spark a lot of shame, guilt, and fear about what the future holds for one’s relationship outcomes, she adds.Įven if the breakup was mutual and amicable, it can still trigger old attachment wounds, beliefs about oneself, and memories from past relationships or past experiences with attachment figures, says Schwartz. Not to mention, as relational human beings, we naturally crave and form attachments, so letting go of an attachment we’ve developed can be really difficult, explains Caitlin Cantor, LCSW, an individual, couples, and AASECT-certified sex therapist with practices in Philadelphia and New Jersey. “Breakups are difficult, in general, because it’s a change, transition, and loss of something that was once, in many cases, stable and consistent,” says Brooke Schwartz, LCSW, a licensed psychotherapist and clinical social worker based in Los Angeles. After all, the ending of a relationship, whether platonic or romantic, is a type of grief-and grief is never easy to get over. ![]()
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